“A Little Bit Of Therapy” Behind The Fitting Room Curtain With Carl Abad

You’ve browsed the racks and rails, found potential winners and head to the fitting rooms. Six items or less – the coat hangers cut into the side of your hand a little as you wait for a room. Excited and a little apprehensive, you step into that small space and carefully hang the garments on available hooks and draw the curtain behind you. Then it begins…

The glare of unforgiving fluorescent lights is not for the fainthearted. The close proximity to the mirrors in this small space makes the avoidance of reality impossible. Before long you feel defeated, slumped on the small bench looking at the enemy which has been hung limply back on the hangers, regretting every cocktail or cupcake that has ever passed your lips.

There it is. Your body is All Wrong and Nothing Looks Good. And it’s All Your Fault.

Really?

Call in the experts, because this dilemma needs some examination. I have managed to corner the ultimate guru of wardrobe wisdom, stylist Carl Abad, who for many years has been the witness and saviour of countless fitting room meltdowns.

We need to look at the causes, get a diagnosis and find a cure!

Carl smiles, “A little bit of therapy”.That’s how he defines what he does. We are sitting on a sidewalk patio in Sunnyside, sheltered by the tall red brick building from a rather chilly wind. Carl has a presence. Magnificently dressed, large designer sunglasses, bejewelled with his own unique brand of fun bling, but what strikes me is his clear and direct gaze. Confidence without arrogance. Non-judgemental. You immediately feel safe.

He explains “Retail stores are there to sell. You will be told you look great, you are excited, you purchase it and take it home. Next thing, you put it on and your friend looks at you and says ‘what on earth are you wearing?’ Suddenly deflated, you’ve lost that happy feeling and you’re left to see the truth.”

I have consulted with him in the past - a three-hour session which was infinitely more than just shopping for clothes. He is dead honest. He tells you why it does or does not work. I still feel the tug of his hand on a pair of pants he had brought me to try. I knew they looked really bad on me, and when I pulled the curtain aside Carl’s face immediately confirmed this. He touched the thick fabric which did not effectively drape or skim my shape and explained why they were wrong for me.

The pants were wrong, not my body.

Our coffee arrives, a welcome hot drink. Carl states emphatically “You are always right, because you are YOU!”  That simple comment turns it upside down. “It’s not YOU who has the problem, but rather the clothes that are wrong for you.”

The big fight is against media influence, that external yardstick by which we measure ourselves, yet which has no practical relevance. It’s an absurd, unwinnable battle often culminating in dysmorphia.

Carl’s insights continue “Understand your body in a truthful manner. Not referencing TV or magazine images. Look without comparison. When you take that away, you can love what you see. If you are already loving media images, it will be hard because you cannot match that. Have an open conversation with yourself. Out loud. Hearing yourself saying it will make it real. Constantly doing that, and not comparing, is where the journey starts.”

He repeatedly emphasises that the key is to stop comparing.  It’s an inner change we need to make. His “little bit of therapy” is bringing clarity. 

“You can only control yourself and your perceptions. Stop comparing yourself to others.”

We need to be educated by the likes of Carl. Someone who will honestly “tell you why, show you why and discuss both what is good or bad. To know the ‘why’, ie why certain items feel good. To educate you for future shopping. It is very personal.”

“You can only control yourself and your perceptions. Stop comparing yourself to others… confidence starts small and then grows to all areas of your life.”

Carl Abad

This education is critical, the missing piece. We cannot simply translate from a magazine or website. We need to understand skin tone, colour palate, technical aspects, proportions and style, as well as where to start. We also need time and focus – we do not give ourselves the time to carefully prepare and think about our wardrobes, and we neglect to edit.

He next turns to the subject of confidence. “Women dim their light, as they don’t want to be judged. When you are confident, you are not worried about the opinions of others. When you are put together well, you stand differently. Clothing is a shield. It does not change everything, but it is an extra tool. Confidence starts small and then grows to all areas of your life.”

It is empowering knowing that you look good. Another layer is added when someone tells you so – not so much for the compliment but for the feeling you have someone on your side who sees you in a positive light.

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We continue to chat. About his own journey, about success and failure (“There is no failure. You either win, or learn”), about social media and the modelling industry, about sheep in a field  (more about that another time!). I don’t want this visit to end.

Carl is hugely inspiring and delivers the unvarnished truth with grace. He helps us create better versions of ourselves, both inside and out. It would be my wish for everyone to spend time and go shopping with this wise style guru, even if just for an hour or so. It is an investment and time wonderfully well spent on something that is so much more than clothing. It is an experience that can change both your outer and inner worlds.

And in addition, at the end of it, you will walk away confidently with an outfit that your friends will applaud.

Written by: Mickey Foulds

Teri-Ann Begin: The Girl In The Three Piece Suit

The theatre is a place where we enter the world of imagination and possibility, of hopes and dreams, and vivid stories exploring the length and breadth of the lives we lead. Magnificent scenery and elaborate outfits create an illusion for the audience, and the actors fully immerse themselves into new identities as they put on their wigs, makeup and costumes and become someone else for the next few hours. 

Art indeed imitates life, and as Shakespeare aptly observed, “All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players”.

A young student at the Fort William Collegiate Institute School in Thunder Bay, Northern Ontario was already intuitively aware of the transformative power of costume in her early teens, and the role she wished to play on this world stage.

Teri-Ann Begin smiles as she recalls, “I wore three-piece suits to school because I always wanted to be a business woman…….and no, the other kids didn’t think it was strange because I was in a band. I played the flute and the piccolo. I thought we were the cool group.” She laughs easily. “After all, it was the seventies and everyone wore weird clothes!”

The aphorisms “act as if”, “fake it until you make it” and “build it and they will come” have become popular mainstream beliefs for many, frequently referred to as the Power of Intention. Personal presentation and dress play an integral role in this journey to realising one’s goals.

 There was however nothing fake about the girl in the three-piece suit –working hard and being successful was in her DNA. She discovered she had a gift for sales, and quite simply states the reason. “I talk to people”.

It is late afternoon and I am grateful for the air-conditioned relief of Teri-Ann’s home, perched high above the silvery Bow River winding its way through the city below. It is a gracious and welcoming executive home, a testament to 34 years of climbing the real estate ladder in Calgary and reaching the upper echelons of success.  We chat for a while, then Teri-Ann leaves the room briefly. I look around and am struck by the lack of pretentiousness – the space speaks of family and community, of relaxed meals, and the business of daily life.

I also know that within these walls is her office, housing the highly successful RE/MAX Real Estate (Central) Begin Group managed in partnership with her daughter, Stephanie Begin. It is an enviable success story fuelled by a 92% referral rate and a strong performance in the corporate relocation sector. It is run as a tight ship, with Teri-Ann and Stephanie leading by example, uncompromising with regard to their expectations of excellence from the team.

I want to see her wardrobe, but already know it will be filled with well-tailored high-quality professional outfits. Mostly black and red, the power colours which suit her well. I note that today for my visit she is wearing a simple relaxed denim dress.

“If in all your actions you focus on making the world a better place, especially with respect to the people you meet, you in turn will have what you need”

Our paths have crossed many times for over a decade, and I have been intrigued by her stories of hiking across England and climbing Mt Kilimanjaro in Africa. Her positive, proactive and honest approach to life helps her navigate challenges with tenacity and integrity. It takes courage, and she makes it look easy.

Teri-Ann said she “talks to people”.  It goes far beyond that – she tells me the driving force in her business and in life is her desire to help people. She clearly listens to people too and makes them feel valued. She is passionate about maintaining contact with others – she does not merely orchestrate the sale or purchase of a house, and then disappear with her dues. Clients who purchased homes with her help return decades later when it is time for the next move. Such trust and loyalty is deservedly hers.

I ask her perspective on strategies for coping with personal difficulty, and without hesitation, she replies “No matter how difficult things are at any point in your life, you don’t need to look far to find someone in a worse position than you. Find that person and then do what you can to make their life better. You will find your own issue is no longer that bad.” She tells me her mum always volunteered, and taught her that “God has given us the best life possible, and it is our responsibility to give back.” 

Following in these footsteps, Teri-Ann initially became a Girl Guide leader. Later, looking for further opportunities to give back, a client suggested that she might be interested to volunteer with assisting women trying to get into the workforce. This perfect fit for the astute business woman has led to 15 years of significant contribution of her time, talent, and energy serving the needs of women at Making Changes.

I next ask her what she looks for in others that would earn her respect, and once again the answer is quick and concise “how they treat serving staff, older people and also people who are not dressed well”.

All I can see in her comes from inner strength, hard work and an unfailing belief that “if in all your actions you focus on making the world a better place, especially with respect to the people you meet, you in turn will have what you need”.

I leave, and as I drive home I reflect upon this rare encounter with someone who has spent a lifetime in unswerving commitment to her vision, helping others who are less fortunate by giving a hand up, and serving every client privileged to work with her to the very best of her ability.

The executive attire she now wears is no longer a costume, but simply a reflection of the remarkable business woman within.

Written by: Mickey Foulds

Allison Blackmore: An Encounter with Excellence!

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During the summer of 2020 I went for many walks along the banks of the river in Bowness Park. As I climbed the stairs one day at the Stoney trail bridge I saw two excited dogs and a flash of blue run past at the top, and then turn down the stairs.

Barely out of breath, I was greeted with her signature radiant smile and quick chat. Then she was off again, a little slower down the steep flight of stairs and, as I watched, breaking into a fast run at the bottom to continue her dog “walk”.

What struck me was the impact of that brief encounter. In her wake she left a surge of positive energy, a feeling of vitality and pure joy, and celebration of our stunning outdoor environment. She made it looks so easy, fluid and effortless. She made me feel that I could run too.

Allison Blackmore has always intrigued me, so I took the opportunity to sit down with her - she doesn’t sit for long - and learn more about her world.

I asked about running. I knew that she was world class, having reached the top of her game in 2019, winning the London Marathon in the 50-54yr Masters category, as well as being the fastest woman in Canada in that same group. I was curious about where this journey began.

Allison chuckles to herself as she tells me that her mum always walked really fast and as a small child she had to almost run alongside her to keep up. She tells me how later she would run the 1.5km home and back for lunch from school. She never liked to walk, because walking seemed so boring.

Always active, she initially started with figure skating competitively and later as a coach with top-level accreditation. Hugely athletic, it follows that “I always preferred and was better at the jumps rather than the figures.” In her college years, she started to play soccer. “I loved to run, and there is a lot of running in soccer. I didn’t have much skill when it came to scoring, but I could be where I needed to be.” In about 2005 she started “running a little bit for fitness”. This was the start of something huge.

““Success is meeting my goals. If I do the necessary training well, if I have come fully prepared and feel confident of it going well, that is success. It is THAT moment, before the race. If I then have a bad race it is not failure, as anything unpredictable can happen on the day.””

— Allison Blackmore

Self-effacing and hugely modest, she dislikes competition and has always focused on her own performance rather than on winning over others.

Wind it forward to 2012. A mere 9 years ago. Wanting to run a marathon, she walked into a Running Room store to purchase a pair of running shoes. However, she felt intimidated by the prospect, feeling that “I wasn’t good enough to run, and I didn’t want to fail. I didn’t believe I could do it.” The empathetic sales attendant responded that of course, she could. Anyone could do this. Just sign up for their course and they would get her ready. Allison duly signed up for the 16-week course.

I asked her if the course was easy. She laughs at the memory and without ego or arrogance replied “my legs wanted to run faster” Her goal of a sub 4-hour marathon was blown away by a 3:25:50 2013 Vancouver Marathon finish. Upon review, she realised she could change her strategy and easily do even better than that.

The years that followed saw her training seriously with the elite Adrenalin Rush running group and winning or placing near the top in Canada. The successes kept piling up as a result of intense commitment and hard work.

In 2014 she was ready for an international field, and ran the Boston Marathon in 3:22:56, followed by Chicago 2015, 3:05:45, Phoenix Half Marathon 2016, 1:25:30, Berlin 2016 where she spectacularly achieved a sub 3 hour time of 2:57:52 followed by a lightning speed half marathon in Phoenix in 2017 with 1:22:58.

Next stop was Africa, and the first ultra-marathon, the spectacular 56k Two Oceans. This was uncharted territory and she smiled as she recollected the start of the race. The field was huge with thousands of runners, so they were seeded at the start, placed with runners of equal ability with the fastest in front. It was early in the morning, chilly and still quite dark. The excitement was palpable. She found her spot and with a grin describes how she, a petite Canadian woman, looked up and found herself surrounded by the African elite, almost exclusively all tall athletic male runners who always lead the field there. She had no expectations, but ended up crushing the race, cheered on by the locals lining the streets shouting “go lady, go!”, and winning the women’s Masters category in 4:22, which was an enormous achievement.

Then the big ones. New York 2018, 3:01; London 2019 2:55:04 with another spectacular first-place finish, and Berlin again in 2019, 3:03:01.

We talk about training. She loves the freedom of running alone, at her own pace because “you see things differently”, although she values those around her that work hard and get results, “they make me want to be better”. She runs, and her achievements are fueled by a strong focus on personal best, “just for me”, rather than from a position of ego.

She continues and emphasises the importance of taking a break “one cannot always just push through, as physically you need to heal, or mentally you get drained. Otherwise it’s not fun anymore”.

With respect to being a woman, she expresses how grateful she is to live and train in Canada, as she has the freedom to go on long solitary training runs with little fear for her safety. She mentions meeting women runners from other nations whose training is compromised and potential unrealised because their training is limited to running tracks in broad daylight with others present to protect them.

Finally, we talk about success.

“Success is meeting my goals. If I do the necessary training well, if I have come fully prepared and feel confident of it going well, that is success. It is THAT moment, before the race. If I then have a bad race it is not failure, as anything unpredictable can happen on the day.”

Days later this unique perspective is still on my mind, as it applies to so much more than running.

We wrap up the conversation and she heads home, leaving me feeling grateful for my time with this remarkable woman in her fifties who has risen meteorically to world class. Just for herself.

Written by: Mickey Foulds