“A Little Bit Of Therapy” Behind The Fitting Room Curtain With Carl Abad

You’ve browsed the racks and rails, found potential winners and head to the fitting rooms. Six items or less – the coat hangers cut into the side of your hand a little as you wait for a room. Excited and a little apprehensive, you step into that small space and carefully hang the garments on available hooks and draw the curtain behind you. Then it begins…

The glare of unforgiving fluorescent lights is not for the fainthearted. The close proximity to the mirrors in this small space makes the avoidance of reality impossible. Before long you feel defeated, slumped on the small bench looking at the enemy which has been hung limply back on the hangers, regretting every cocktail or cupcake that has ever passed your lips.

There it is. Your body is All Wrong and Nothing Looks Good. And it’s All Your Fault.

Really?

Call in the experts, because this dilemma needs some examination. I have managed to corner the ultimate guru of wardrobe wisdom, stylist Carl Abad, who for many years has been the witness and saviour of countless fitting room meltdowns.

We need to look at the causes, get a diagnosis and find a cure!

Carl smiles, “A little bit of therapy”.That’s how he defines what he does. We are sitting on a sidewalk patio in Sunnyside, sheltered by the tall red brick building from a rather chilly wind. Carl has a presence. Magnificently dressed, large designer sunglasses, bejewelled with his own unique brand of fun bling, but what strikes me is his clear and direct gaze. Confidence without arrogance. Non-judgemental. You immediately feel safe.

He explains “Retail stores are there to sell. You will be told you look great, you are excited, you purchase it and take it home. Next thing, you put it on and your friend looks at you and says ‘what on earth are you wearing?’ Suddenly deflated, you’ve lost that happy feeling and you’re left to see the truth.”

I have consulted with him in the past - a three-hour session which was infinitely more than just shopping for clothes. He is dead honest. He tells you why it does or does not work. I still feel the tug of his hand on a pair of pants he had brought me to try. I knew they looked really bad on me, and when I pulled the curtain aside Carl’s face immediately confirmed this. He touched the thick fabric which did not effectively drape or skim my shape and explained why they were wrong for me.

The pants were wrong, not my body.

Our coffee arrives, a welcome hot drink. Carl states emphatically “You are always right, because you are YOU!”  That simple comment turns it upside down. “It’s not YOU who has the problem, but rather the clothes that are wrong for you.”

The big fight is against media influence, that external yardstick by which we measure ourselves, yet which has no practical relevance. It’s an absurd, unwinnable battle often culminating in dysmorphia.

Carl’s insights continue “Understand your body in a truthful manner. Not referencing TV or magazine images. Look without comparison. When you take that away, you can love what you see. If you are already loving media images, it will be hard because you cannot match that. Have an open conversation with yourself. Out loud. Hearing yourself saying it will make it real. Constantly doing that, and not comparing, is where the journey starts.”

He repeatedly emphasises that the key is to stop comparing.  It’s an inner change we need to make. His “little bit of therapy” is bringing clarity. 

“You can only control yourself and your perceptions. Stop comparing yourself to others.”

We need to be educated by the likes of Carl. Someone who will honestly “tell you why, show you why and discuss both what is good or bad. To know the ‘why’, ie why certain items feel good. To educate you for future shopping. It is very personal.”

“You can only control yourself and your perceptions. Stop comparing yourself to others… confidence starts small and then grows to all areas of your life.”

Carl Abad

This education is critical, the missing piece. We cannot simply translate from a magazine or website. We need to understand skin tone, colour palate, technical aspects, proportions and style, as well as where to start. We also need time and focus – we do not give ourselves the time to carefully prepare and think about our wardrobes, and we neglect to edit.

He next turns to the subject of confidence. “Women dim their light, as they don’t want to be judged. When you are confident, you are not worried about the opinions of others. When you are put together well, you stand differently. Clothing is a shield. It does not change everything, but it is an extra tool. Confidence starts small and then grows to all areas of your life.”

It is empowering knowing that you look good. Another layer is added when someone tells you so – not so much for the compliment but for the feeling you have someone on your side who sees you in a positive light.

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We continue to chat. About his own journey, about success and failure (“There is no failure. You either win, or learn”), about social media and the modelling industry, about sheep in a field  (more about that another time!). I don’t want this visit to end.

Carl is hugely inspiring and delivers the unvarnished truth with grace. He helps us create better versions of ourselves, both inside and out. It would be my wish for everyone to spend time and go shopping with this wise style guru, even if just for an hour or so. It is an investment and time wonderfully well spent on something that is so much more than clothing. It is an experience that can change both your outer and inner worlds.

And in addition, at the end of it, you will walk away confidently with an outfit that your friends will applaud.

Written by: Mickey Foulds

Allison Blackmore: An Encounter with Excellence!

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During the summer of 2020 I went for many walks along the banks of the river in Bowness Park. As I climbed the stairs one day at the Stoney trail bridge I saw two excited dogs and a flash of blue run past at the top, and then turn down the stairs.

Barely out of breath, I was greeted with her signature radiant smile and quick chat. Then she was off again, a little slower down the steep flight of stairs and, as I watched, breaking into a fast run at the bottom to continue her dog “walk”.

What struck me was the impact of that brief encounter. In her wake she left a surge of positive energy, a feeling of vitality and pure joy, and celebration of our stunning outdoor environment. She made it looks so easy, fluid and effortless. She made me feel that I could run too.

Allison Blackmore has always intrigued me, so I took the opportunity to sit down with her - she doesn’t sit for long - and learn more about her world.

I asked about running. I knew that she was world class, having reached the top of her game in 2019, winning the London Marathon in the 50-54yr Masters category, as well as being the fastest woman in Canada in that same group. I was curious about where this journey began.

Allison chuckles to herself as she tells me that her mum always walked really fast and as a small child she had to almost run alongside her to keep up. She tells me how later she would run the 1.5km home and back for lunch from school. She never liked to walk, because walking seemed so boring.

Always active, she initially started with figure skating competitively and later as a coach with top-level accreditation. Hugely athletic, it follows that “I always preferred and was better at the jumps rather than the figures.” In her college years, she started to play soccer. “I loved to run, and there is a lot of running in soccer. I didn’t have much skill when it came to scoring, but I could be where I needed to be.” In about 2005 she started “running a little bit for fitness”. This was the start of something huge.

““Success is meeting my goals. If I do the necessary training well, if I have come fully prepared and feel confident of it going well, that is success. It is THAT moment, before the race. If I then have a bad race it is not failure, as anything unpredictable can happen on the day.””

— Allison Blackmore

Self-effacing and hugely modest, she dislikes competition and has always focused on her own performance rather than on winning over others.

Wind it forward to 2012. A mere 9 years ago. Wanting to run a marathon, she walked into a Running Room store to purchase a pair of running shoes. However, she felt intimidated by the prospect, feeling that “I wasn’t good enough to run, and I didn’t want to fail. I didn’t believe I could do it.” The empathetic sales attendant responded that of course, she could. Anyone could do this. Just sign up for their course and they would get her ready. Allison duly signed up for the 16-week course.

I asked her if the course was easy. She laughs at the memory and without ego or arrogance replied “my legs wanted to run faster” Her goal of a sub 4-hour marathon was blown away by a 3:25:50 2013 Vancouver Marathon finish. Upon review, she realised she could change her strategy and easily do even better than that.

The years that followed saw her training seriously with the elite Adrenalin Rush running group and winning or placing near the top in Canada. The successes kept piling up as a result of intense commitment and hard work.

In 2014 she was ready for an international field, and ran the Boston Marathon in 3:22:56, followed by Chicago 2015, 3:05:45, Phoenix Half Marathon 2016, 1:25:30, Berlin 2016 where she spectacularly achieved a sub 3 hour time of 2:57:52 followed by a lightning speed half marathon in Phoenix in 2017 with 1:22:58.

Next stop was Africa, and the first ultra-marathon, the spectacular 56k Two Oceans. This was uncharted territory and she smiled as she recollected the start of the race. The field was huge with thousands of runners, so they were seeded at the start, placed with runners of equal ability with the fastest in front. It was early in the morning, chilly and still quite dark. The excitement was palpable. She found her spot and with a grin describes how she, a petite Canadian woman, looked up and found herself surrounded by the African elite, almost exclusively all tall athletic male runners who always lead the field there. She had no expectations, but ended up crushing the race, cheered on by the locals lining the streets shouting “go lady, go!”, and winning the women’s Masters category in 4:22, which was an enormous achievement.

Then the big ones. New York 2018, 3:01; London 2019 2:55:04 with another spectacular first-place finish, and Berlin again in 2019, 3:03:01.

We talk about training. She loves the freedom of running alone, at her own pace because “you see things differently”, although she values those around her that work hard and get results, “they make me want to be better”. She runs, and her achievements are fueled by a strong focus on personal best, “just for me”, rather than from a position of ego.

She continues and emphasises the importance of taking a break “one cannot always just push through, as physically you need to heal, or mentally you get drained. Otherwise it’s not fun anymore”.

With respect to being a woman, she expresses how grateful she is to live and train in Canada, as she has the freedom to go on long solitary training runs with little fear for her safety. She mentions meeting women runners from other nations whose training is compromised and potential unrealised because their training is limited to running tracks in broad daylight with others present to protect them.

Finally, we talk about success.

“Success is meeting my goals. If I do the necessary training well, if I have come fully prepared and feel confident of it going well, that is success. It is THAT moment, before the race. If I then have a bad race it is not failure, as anything unpredictable can happen on the day.”

Days later this unique perspective is still on my mind, as it applies to so much more than running.

We wrap up the conversation and she heads home, leaving me feeling grateful for my time with this remarkable woman in her fifties who has risen meteorically to world class. Just for herself.

Written by: Mickey Foulds